Still Thinking

There is a movie that i DO NOT want to watch. NO and i dont mind if they take all the hoardings and flush it down their u know what. The movie is METRO, 10..15 i donno a million people and the reality of their lives in a metro. We were talking bout it in office today.

V: I cant wait to watch METRO...next salary n thats the first one I'll go for. 

Me: METRO pls no.

V: so what, what they have shown is reality.

Me: Quiet........

but my head was freaking screaming. What the f*** do u mean by reality?  What in the name of god do supposedly realistic or practical people mean when they say such things? that i don't like watching stuff that depicts reality, that im some freaking coward in denial. Well, I'm sorry but i have been thru a painful breakup, work freaking 12hrs a day...there is not one day that i don't have to deal with at least one memory of past 3 yrs. So i have freaking reality of my own for freaking 24hrs. Why would i want to spend 3hrs extra watching someone else's reality. Its not like its friend who i need to be there for wen they have stuff...that i can do. But why would i want to sit in a theatre for 3 hrs and watch all the things going wrong in other ppls lives. I know it...freaking I, N, my team leader, my boss...we are living it.

 I do not get supposedly practical ppl, who are not afraid to face reality(wtever)...especially when they stand in judgment of us lesser mortals who like to take a break from our share of shit. It's just a break not the rest of me. I like to dream the most outrageous, impossible dreams...silliest dreams. But thats me...NOT ALL ME...but me all the same. So shut up and take a break. Practical my ASS.

I'm gonna write bout N today.Well not really bout him but how he made me realize something so important. N makes me laugh, without judging i hope, or even if he does, i don't. I know its difficult to find someone who does not judge you but i think its even more difficult to find someone you don't judge. N is a complete weirdo and an absolute whack job to be honest but he makes me laugh, just like that. I go to him with an excuse of work but i know i only go to laugh. He makes me realize that there are very very few people with a good sense of humor and that you can actually laugh at anything if you make up ur mind. There are no non-veg jokes or comments, no double meaning remarks, we are not there yet. and i hope we never get there, there's just so much sex around already, the hoardings, tv, news, movies...i really want sex to leave humor alone for a while. I am a very boring serious person who thinks a lot-thats how my sis describes me and that used to anger me to the limit probably becuz its true. N made me realize how important it for me to be with a guy who has a good(sorry great) sense of humor. Not ironic, dark or cynical or hysterical but the silly kind. I and N have invented superstitions of our own, we have these lucky and unlucky MSN display pictures and a lot of unrelated signs and its all so so silly and its alright to be silly once in a while. Crack the biggest PJs and laugh out loud for no reason. N is also becoming my partner in crime slowly and is a complete brat. But the thought of having a life partner whose sense of humor is like N's poses so many questions. Is it N or do all guys have a"good" sense of humor before they get into a relationship. Where after two ppl are serious every comment made reflects your character, depth, seriousness towards the relationship and well, ahem, commitment. Is a relationship the end of all the rolling on the floor, falling of the chair laughter? N also looks really funny, his rolling his eyes is enuf to make me crack up. Its important to laugh, to acknowledge the inherent sillyness in life, the typical patterns that the Marathi Writer P.L Deshpande talks bout. He doesn’t invent that he just states it as it is. Someone once told me that life is one cosmic joke, and if u just take a minute to consider that u’ll get the joke.

Below this sentence lies an icon of PODCAST...so pls click n turn up ur speakers....not too up...i think switching them on is jus fine...

NO electricity so i had to record again...i prefer recording my voice...cuz...well....i hate typing me a designer/programmer soafter typing for 14 hrs im done...

Well, as the title suggest im really really tired...so i recorded my thoughts...pls listen to it...  :)

I made a tree today and I hope sumone who understands what I mean reads this. So how does one make a tree. Well only someone who is well versed with flash and AS can understand how one can make a tree. Yep, the geek is in.

           But why do I have to write bout this(so u made a tree, wts the point). Well in my life or professional life its an event. I hate components in flash and avoid them like plague, because they r so complicated (no because they are so convenient n it frustrates me to the limit that I can never get it write, id rather avoid than realize I'm incapable of it).

          6 months back I knew nothing of it. All I knew of actionscript was how to move from one frame to another (gotoAndPlay). My boss (who rocks by the way) gave me that chance to learn push myself, lose myself in figuring out how to get sumthing done.

          My TL was sitting next to me, sonal was sitting on the desk behind mine, two ACs around my desk 18deg. And there it was my pretty pretty tree. All green and styled and skinned with gradient bullets, my customized tree. I love it. Its so beautiful, I want to celebrate.